


Our Last Promise

by taegiradar



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Blood, Car Accidents, Death, Established Relationship, Freeform, Heavy Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, One Shot, Please Be careful, hint at suicidal thoughts, this is very heavy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:02:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28888044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taegiradar/pseuds/taegiradar
Summary: For Felix, Chan will do anything.Even if it seems like the most impossible thing in the world.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 8
Kudos: 24





	Our Last Promise

They say your life flashes before your eyes the seconds before you die. They say all the good, the bad, and the ugly parts will resurface, and most times you’re left with a bitter taste in your tongue - either from the blood or the sheer amount of regrets you’ve been holding onto. It’s why everyone is so adamant about always achieving as much as humanly possible while you’re still breathing. It’s why everyone seems to be running an invisible race, every single day of their lives. They don’t want to leave with the knowledge that they haven’t done  _ enough _ .

But as Felix sees the bright lights approaching their car from behind at a bone-chilling speed, nothing really goes through his mind. Memories don’t flash by, no regrets are felt - and there’s no taste in his mouth.

Maybe it’s why it felt easier to let go, in the end.

All he knows, is that one moment he’s singing at the top of his lungs to Chan’s playlist blasting from the car speakers - and the next he’s on the ground, and everything  _ hurts _ .

His arms, his legs, his chest -  _ god his chest fucking hurts _ .

He isn’t sure if it’s from the impact or the sinking feeling that this is it. That there’s no more after this.

He blinks, slowly - and lets the atmosphere finally make itself known, and the ringing in his ears to start to fade. The late night is eerily quiet, only the sounds of the car engines and the wind against the trees registering in his ears. Breathing is difficult, every inhale and exhale amplifying the sharp pain in his lungs. He can’t really feel his right hand, and he belatedly notices the feeling of cool liquid running across his face. His body. It might be blood - Felix can’t be sure.

His eyesight is still blurry, but as he looks up at the night sky - the moon and stars still shine brightly. It brings a wave of calmness that washes over him, and he thinks everything might just turn out okay.

(It doesn’t.)

A few seconds pass, maybe a few minutes - Felix can’t tell. He feels a presence beside him, and suddenly Felix remembers where he is.

“Lix? Lix, fuck.” He feels a pair of hands cup his face, hands he’s so familiar with. Ones that Felix loves to hold. Loves to feel on his body. (It’s no different now.)

“Hey, baby? Hey. Look at me. I’m here, okay?” Felix looks at Chan, and his heart feels lighter. Lighter, because Chan doesn’t look as bad as Felix feels. That Chan is safe, only a few scratches on his face - and that Chan is here. Felix only ever wanted Chan to be okay.

“I’m calling the ambulance now, okay? Don’t worry, little one. You’ll be okay.” Chan is talking on his phone, frantically telling the operator about their location. Felix doesn’t really catch any of it - he just looks at Chan, looks at the person he loves the most in the world.

“Chris…” His throat feels dry, and talking makes everything hurt even more. But it’ll only hurt more for a little while longer. He knows.

Chan is still talking to his phone, and Felix wants him to stop. He wants Chan to talk to  _ him _ \- for whatever time is left.

“Chris…” He calls again, this time the hurt blends in with everything else. He isn’t really sure if he can actually feel anything at this point. He gathers whatever limited strength he has, and lifts his left hand to place it on Chan’s.

Only then, does Chan stop talking. He finally puts the phone down, and he looks at Felix with so much pain, hurt, and helplessness in his eyes. Felix hates that look on his face. Felix wants Chan to be okay.

“You’re safe, right?” He gets out, voice barely a whisper but Chan is so close and it’s hard to miss.

Chan lets out a wet chuckle, and Felix feels a bit better. Anything but that damn frown on his face. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m safe, Lix. And so are you. They’re coming soon, okay? You’re gonna be all better. They’ll save you.”

Felix doesn’t really feel that attracted by that possibility. It doesn’t seem to make him any happier.

Chan still has that excruciating worry in his eyes. Even though Felix knows that this is the end, that they won’t get here in time to have any chance of saving him - he wants that worry to go away. He doesn’t want Chan’s last look he gives Felix one of agony. He wants to feel loved - the way he knows Chan can do so easily.

“I’ll be okay, Chris. S-Stop frowning, please?” The words come out in fragments, body unable to properly gather enough energy.

Felix sees a flash of hurt pass through Chan, the kind that clearly shows his soul has been broken. Felix feels guilty for causing that.

Felix feels so stupid. Stupid, stupid boy should’ve worn his damn seatbelt. Maybe this wouldn’t be happening. Maybe Chan wouldn’t look as broken as he does right now.

But Chan has always been a strong person. Chan has always been Felix’s rock, the person he can always rely on, no matter what. Chan always puts Felix before himself - and this time it’s no different. The flash lasts just as long as that. A single, second long flash of hurt. And then Chan is back to his strong front. For Felix.

“You’re so strong, you know that right?” Chan says, voice gentle and hard for Felix to pick up but he hears it anyway. He wants to laugh at the absurdity of it all. But his body cannot physically do that.

It hurts too much.

Tears are still flowing down Chan’s face, a contrast from the small smile on his lips. Felix might be crying too, but he can’t really tell the difference between which is blood and which are tears.

Felix doesn’t answer Chan. “Promise me.” The throbbing in his head is getting unbearable now. “Y-You’ll try to be happy, okay?”

That has always been Felix’s main goal. To make sure Chan is happy. That the person who he loves the most in this godforsaken world, is happy. Happier than Felix has ever felt.

More tears flow out of the corners of Chan’s eyes. But his smile is still there.

“I promise, Lix. I promise.”

Felix wants to say more. He wants to tell Chan he loves him. One last time.

But his body works faster than his mind, and the next thing he knows - he releases his last breath.

It’s funny, really. That barely 30 seconds later, the sounds of the ambulance can be heard. That help arrives, just as it’s too fucking late.

How cruel, life can be.

Holding Felix’s lifeless body, Chan cries and screams and is filled with so much heart-shattering hurt that he doesn’t know how in the world he’ll ever recover. How he can ever be happy again. Not when his happiness is lying in his arms, life stripped out of every cell of him.

But he made a promise to Felix.

One last promise, one last duty to fulfill.

He has to do it.

For Felix.

**Author's Note:**

> im so sorry for this
> 
> say hi on [twitter](https://twitter.com/eternitytrack) or [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/eternitytrack).


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